


Til the end

by Gonardo



Series: steve bucky one shots [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Guilt, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Suicide Attempt, steve thinks he failed bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 15:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4966639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gonardo/pseuds/Gonardo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He promised until the end of the line. But he's failed the one person who meant the most to him in life. Can he over come this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Til the end

**Author's Note:**

> Just to let you know, Steve does attempt suicide, which is why I rated this mature. It is semi graphic. He doesn't succeed due to the serum. Natasha finds him and gets him the help he needs. This fic deals with feelings of guilt, hopelessness, and I want to warn those who may be triggered by it Suicide is a scary thing, something I have dealt with myself. Please like yourself and know that even though I may not know you, I care. So hang in there, okay?  
> No betas, just me, so excuse the mistakes, okay?  
> P.S. Bucky doesn't blame Steve.

Being alone for the first time after coming across Bucky, who didn't even recognize him was painful. He goes to his room, telling his team that he was fine, not to worry about him. The man crumbles, folds in on himself as he slides down the wall. The love of his life was a shell of his former self. Eyes once bright with mirth and intelligence seemed empty, void. A stranger wearing his face had stepped into his place. Even when he had nothing he had Bucky. But now... that's no longer the case, was it?

He had been detained, then escaped with the others. Nothing is what it seems any longer, he has a hit on his head, but he doesn't even care. Life has no meaning now, not when he failed his other half. Not when James Barnes suffered so much all because he couldn't save him. Bucky saved him time and time again, but when he was in position to do so, he failed. Now the brunet is off somewhere, to be wiped and used again.

Steve finds himself with his belongings he had taken when he picked up his old uniform. Bucky's tags that he had worn, an old picture of Bucky gazing up at him, expression raw and full of love. The picture Steve had drawn of Bucky in his uniform, the one he wore that night before he left for war. Bucky had called him a hero when he busted them out, gazed drunkenly at him, eyes wide at his new physic. They had kissed sloppily after they returned to base, Bucky giving him his affections. Steve slid balls deep into him that night, both of them crying as they raced towards orgasm. Both of them repeating the words 'I love you' deep into the night.

The blond looks at the old time razor blade, thinking how simple it would be to end it, to do Bucky's job for him...

That is when Natalia found him, thirty minutes later, with dozens of cuts along his wrists, all healing over. Tub pink with blood, she smacked his face, recanting 'no' over and over at the vacant look on his face. The widow chooses carefully who she lets in, and she refused to let Steve go, not like this!

Afterwards, while he recovers, he promises Nat he won't do it again, feeling selfish. Didn't she go through enough as it is, with Fury and Winter himself? "Don't be stupid Steve," she says through tears. Sam arrives, in which they all hug it out through laughter and tears. Reminding him that he has friends, ones who wants him around. And if he isn't strong, then how can he save his Bucky?

*

Bucky wasn't exactly having it easy either. Being used to kill your life long partner was hell. It took months to gain ground, in order to feel like it was the right time to visit Steve.

He is stopped by Widow. "If you hurt him, I swear I will haunt you until your last breath."

"If I hurt him, you'll be the one who puts the bullet in me," he announces. That seems to pacify her enough to let him see Steve. The man is in his living room surfing the web when Jarvis announces a visitor.

"He calls himself Winter, sir," the voice says suddenly. Steve's blood runs cold, then hot. He jumps up and opens the door to find the brunet about to knock with his right hand.

"Bucky?" Steve can't help but to sound hopeful.

"Steve," he replies. Suddenly the man is being hugged by the blond, and he finds himself being warmed from the inside out. "Its not your fault Steve. Its not anyone's fault. It just happened," he manages to get out, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Oh god, Bucky," Steve starts to tremble. They both stand there, crying and apologizing to one another.

"It will take time Steve, but just know that I never stopped loving you," Bucky assures him.

"That's all I ever wanted to hear. I will wait for ever for you," he sighs out.

"Til the end of the line?" Bucky asks.

"Til the end of the line, and beyond," Steve affirms.


End file.
